rootboy

Truly, Truly Outrageous

2007-12-03T04:23:25Z

Why did I just start humming the theme song to Jem and the Holograms? I swear I am losing my mind.

On Piracy, Ninjitsu, and the Rivalry Therebetween

2007-07-24T02:37:26Z

Why is the Pirate the great enemy of the Ninja?

I made an oblique reference to this staple of Internet humor around my father, who responded with puzzlement - to him this seemed like a very unusual pairing. I didn't have a good answer for him at the time, and muttered something along the lines of what you'll find on the Wikipedia Article. But I was struck by the fact that this joke that he didn't understand has always made perfect sense to me. Indeed, the rivalry is so intuitive to me that when I first discovered it I didn't stop to consider its origin. But after a weekend soaked to my skivvies in fandom at this year's great Otaku-Summit, the issue has come to my attention once again.

The Pirate and the Ninja are not enemies merely because their stereotypes are such striking opposites, though this makes the notion funnier and therefore more pervasive. Ask yourself, over what do they fight? Simply put the Pirate and the Ninja are competing for the same niche in the ecology of our popular culture. Their struggle is positively Darwinian.

Both are stock characters in the modern adventure-story. Crews and clans have been both pro- and antagonists in countless comics, movies, cartoons, video games, and the other entertainment we cherish. The Pirate has a more storied history in the West - just look at Gilbert and Sullivan - but the Ninja has seized an equal share through his sheer badassery. Although these stereotypes, coming from different historical traditions, rarely interact in a single (not-ironic) story, they fill the same narrative role, as they are both amusing and deadly.

I picture, somewhere in the world of stories, a great Ur-Pirate and Ur-Ninja locked in battle, not over treasure or honor but over our hearts and minds - like small gods, belief is their lifeblood. And the absurdity of this pairing has brought our attention to it, and while it lingers the combatants are made stronger and more real to us, and thus they battle on, each parry and blow a joke on a forum and a clever line on a T-shirt.

I'm typing this on my work laptop

2007-01-07T18:30:54Z

So it looks like my hard drive is dying. Windows freezes during boot, and the diagnostic CD says it needs to be replaced. The thing is, I already replaced this drive once (thankfully without losing the data) a year and a half ago. It was under warranty then, which isn't true now, so to fix it I'm going to have to pay.

This hard drive has, among other things, my music collection going back to high school on it. I have some of it backed up on another drive, but I'm not sure how recent it is.

Since I built this computer in March 2004 I have had to replace the following hardware:

The wireless card
A chipset fan
A hard drive
The power supply
The video card. There's a long story about this, involving a crooked UPS store employee in Seattle and a stolen $800 that I nearly got to keep.
A motherboard Because the replacement chipset fan from Item 2 died, and that melted part of the board
And now, the replacement hard drive from item 3, above.

What do we think, time to get a Mac?

rootboy @ 2006-09-11T19:00:00

2006-09-11T23:06:36Z

Random memory that came to mind today:

Once long ago I was watching Star Trek. Captain Picard was talking to the captain of some other ship on that big screen in the bridge, and I thought, "I wonder what resolution 24th century monitors are."

...

I am the biggest goddamn nerd alive.

What's even sadder is I'm posting this on the Internet.

Ye gods, a post!

2006-05-10T01:06:01Z

I would like to use this space to effuse praise on John Hodgman's The Areas of My Expertise. Included in this compendium of complete world knowledge are: Lycanthropic Transformation Timetables; A handy table of Omens and Portents, and the future events they signify; Presidents who had hooks for hands (there are more than you think); and, most importantly, seven-hundred (yes, seven-hundred) hobo names, such as #245, "Crispus T. Muzzlewitt" and #459, "Crumbjacket Timmy". This tome of lies has a deranged internal consistency that makes it seem less like a parody and more like a gateway to a profoundly stranger parallel world.

If you are not familiar with Hodgman, some of his work can be found at McSweeney's, and he can be seen in the role of the "Deranged Millionaire" at tmbg.com.

In other news, there are parts of these videos that make me feel a little tingly. I will give you a hint: they are not the parts that show a human being.

I have had some drinks this evening!

2005-10-29T04:03:47Z

littleaznpiggy is crushing my head.

Yet I allow it. She gives me that special feeling.

OMGNOOBWTFBBQ

2005-03-06T17:44:37Z

As I previously mentioned, I got Half-Life 2 for Christmas. I played it, enjoyed it, and moved on. Then I noticed the other icon that Steam placed on my desktop - Counter-Strike: Source. Now, I'd never played Counter-Strike before. I was always more of a Quake/Unreal guy when it came to muliplayer FPS's. But I started playing. And then played some more. And some more. Until I suddenly looked up, in a sleep-deprived, half coherent stupor at 4AM, and realized I was addicted.

I fully admit that when it comes to Counter-Strike, I'm, well, bad. I'm getting better - albeit very slowly. This doesn't matter. I begin to play, and within mere moments I am beholden to its tactical shooting charms. The creators of Counter-Strike could be beaming subliminal commands to me through the game, and I would gladly and willfully carry them out. It is only a matter of time before I have dropped out of school and sold all my possessions to feed my addiction. The next time you see me, I will be filthy and beragged under a bridge of some sort, spouting wild, incoherent babble about AWP whores and nades and OMGNOOB.

Ties

2005-02-18T18:18:50Z

My dad once explained to me how that the cultural and political history of the Unites States in the past 50 years can be distilled down to popular styles of neckties.

In the '50s, ties were skinny. The climate was conservative. People were expected to do well without standing out from the social norms, lest the like of Joseph McCarthy label them. Wide or outrageous ties were associated with dangerous, impure, communist impulses.

But then came the '60s and with it came Flower Power. We went to the moon. People could express themselves. While the most representative members of that decades culture cast off the inhibiting necktie, ordinary folks were free to wear ties of a more distinctive hues and sizes. The tumults of this decade extended to the necktie - ties wide and thin, bright and dull coexisted in a battle for dominance. By the end of the decade, however, one side clearly had the upper hand.

In the '70s, ties reached the peak of excess. Gone were the thin, distinguished ties of their forebears - men wore ties more suitable as a lobster bib then a fashion accessory, and the colors - my God, the colors! - could practically be seen from the fourth or fifth wave of moon visitors, in whom the public had dwindling interest. By the late '70s, there was nowhere else for ties to go.

Then came Reagan, in his decade of the '80s, his administration forcibly dragged the culture of the United States quite a few notches to the right. The tie bubble of the '70s popped and fizzled, and voila, ties became skinny again. Though hair paradoxically became bigger, ties reverted to lows not seen since Eisenhower.

The '90s were the Clinton years, when the Baby Boomers came into their own. In some ways there was a dull echo of the '60s of their youth, many different ties coexisted peacefully. The cycle continued. That brings us too today.

Now we are here in the '00s, or whatever you call them. When my dad went over this theory, it was the late '90s, and trends seemed to point toward a repeat of '70s style extravagance in tie fashion, if not quite to the indulgent degree of that decade. But then 9/11 happened. The cycle was disrupted. Here, in 2005, the dominant tie fashion seems to be one of moderation - neither 80's super slimness nor the gargantuan proportions of the decade before. It seems to me (Note: I have done no research into the accuracy of this statement) that Red-States would have skinnier ties than Blue-Staters. It may be too early to tell.

Food for thought.

My ears are still ringing

2005-02-02T04:31:42Z

I'm going to try to resist using the word "Cowbell" anywhere in this post.

I saw Blue Oyster Cult in concert this weekend. Despite my love for '70s rock, I was not very familiar with the bulk of their music. I'd only really heard their two big hit songs, and I didn't even realize "Burnin' for You" was by them. But a friend of mine convinced me to go, and so we went. And I must say, they rocked. Hard.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First there were three (yes, three) opening acts of gradually increasing quality. The first was a rather boring loud instrumental metal group. We didn't care for them much. The lead singer looked a lot like Garth.

The second act was more interesting - a bunch of original punk rockers. Despite the light show shining off their bald spots, their songs had all the emotional maturity of a fifteen year old spray painting his name in an alley somewhere in defiance of the Man. I did enjoy "Your Love is Like a Nuclear Waste".

Third was some weird group - again, some old guys - playing more metal style. Some people were actually cheering for them, so I guess they have some kind of following. The highlight was definitely their rendition of "Purple Haze".

Then, at around 11, BOC came on. You may not like their style of music, but there is a reason they're still touring after 35 years - they put on a damn good rock show. Monster solos - guitar, keyboard, drums, and even bass - abound. The 3 core members (vocals, guitars, and keyboard) aren't as young as they used to be, but based on the energy of their performance you don't notice it. Bass and drums were provided by the "Blue Oyster Cult Youth Movement" - obvious band replacements - but just as awesome.

The bassist was particularly impressive. You know how the bassist is usually the guy that just stands there, super cool, not attracting attention to himself but just doing his job? That guy he wasn't. This guy moved. He had a solo. I love him. And I can't remember his name. Google, why have you forsaken me?

And the band obviously has a sense of humor - During their closing performance of "(Don't Fear) The Reaper", Eric Bloom quickly made a motion like Will Ferrel's "Gene Frenkle" (who, incidentally, never actually existed) hitting the ubiquitous cowbell.

There's that "C" word. Oops.

More Brains!

2005-01-22T03:04:17Z

Shaun of the Dead is some quality British Zombie horror/comedy. There's something oh so satisfying about seeing a slacker electronic store salesman beat zombies over the head with a cricket bat. Highly recommended.

I still gotta see those classic George Romero zombie flicks though.

Brains!

2005-01-16T22:37:50Z

In Half-Life 2 you can set the Zombies on fire. That kept me occupied for a while.

Somehow I'm playing more Myst IV than Half-Life. Perhaps you think this blasphemy. At one point in my life - right around the time Riven came out - I was something of a "fan" of the Myst series - everyone had the first one, but how many people actually beat it? I did (though not without some help from a guide book). The new one certainly fits in with the previous editions - its beautiful, it's got live-action acting ranging from bad to mediocre (Rand Miller's Atrus is probably the best), and its hard as hell.

Classes start again soon. So sad.

Lewt

2005-01-01T00:15:12Z

Christmas was good to me.

First, there's Half-Life 2. I can't play it until I get back to my beloved fun-box computer at school. I squeal with anticipation.

Second, Simpsons Season 5 DVD. Probably the best season, when the show was in its glorious prime ('93-'94). This is when I started watching the show. And while I've seen all these episodes many, many times in syndication over the years, it's great to own them in the splendor that is DVD, and I still remember seeing a lot of these episodes for the first time as an eight-year-old.

Third, The Return of the King Extended Edition. At my brother's behest, we spent a day in Middle-Earth and watched all 3 movies in a row. That's nearly 12 hours of movie for those of you keeping score. It was an experience.

Fourth, I must thank littleaznpiggy for America (the Book) by the staff of the Daily Show. Naked Supreme Court Justices ahoy!

Fifth, I just picked up Metroid Prime 2 Echoes. Just started playing, but it already feels better than the first.

Yay Christmas! Yay materialism!

Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

2004-12-18T05:46:41Z

Gabe and Tycho are geniuses. That is all.

Oldskool

2004-12-12T07:03:30Z

I'm currently posting from a text-based web browser. I just thought I would share that.

Purple America

2004-12-07T07:07:36Z

I'm not really one for politics, and I know the election was a month ago, but I find this fascinating. Check it out.

It's like he channels dead crazy people.

2004-12-03T23:08:06Z

I've become addicted to the Adult Swim show The Venture Bros.

It's worth watching for Brock Samson alone. The Monarch, Baron Underbheit, and Doctors Venture, Orpheus, and Girlfriend only serve to increase the awesome.

The creator was a writer for The Tick, in both the beloved animated and less-beloved live-action incarnations. That probably explains part of why I love it so.

And whoever came up with the name "Molotov Cocktease" is too brilliant for this world.

Happy Vote Day

2004-11-02T14:35:34Z

There is a significant chance that, because of today's events, in a few months our country will have a new leader. There is also a significant chance that this will not happen. But even so, it is a certainty that will will have a new leader in the beginning of 2009. I think that is amazing.

This is not a post about the efficacy of our current President, or the potential efficacy of his challenger. You can find plenty of other people willing to discuss that with far more intelligence and insight than I can offer. This is a post about the democratic republic in which we live.

Think of all the thousands of horrible, abusive, corrupt despots that have done nothing but to make life miserable for the majority of the human population over the course of history. In most times, in most places, that's the status quo - a tyrant whose power is founded on violence, and whose regime can only be removed by violence.

Whatever you think of George W. Bush, the fact remains that he could be removed from power if enough people - in the right places - say that they don't want him anymore. No violent uprising, no coup-d'etat, just voting. And that is amazing.

For all its flaws, our democracy - well, more properly, our republic - means that at some level our leaders are the product of our choices. I could rant about the undue influence of big corporations and the media. I could go on about the electoral-college and the problems with our first-past-the-post voting system, and discuss the advantages of instant runoff or approval voting. Though if I did so I'd have to mention Arrow's theorem to be fair.

But our political system, when you get down to it, is better that what most people have had in human history. Of course its not perfect, but what have people ever made that has been? We do pick our leaders, indirectly, to be sure, but we still do, without violence or bloodshed. And that is amazing.

Jon Stewart is my Hero

2004-10-17T02:57:54Z

Required viewing (BitTorrent)

I hate television news. And Crossfire is among the worst offenders. The few times I've watched it I've felt my intelligence had been insulted. These guys got what they deserved.

Yeargh.

2004-10-12T04:40:34Z

An open letter to Microsoft Internet Explorer,

Hello. I work at a major university developing a Course Mangement System for the computer science department that will allow students and professors to manage assignments and grades via a sophisticated web interface. This interface uses a great deal of fancy JavaScript and takes full advantage of the power of the W3C DOM. I spent many hours crafting my JavaScript functions to properly get the Dynamic HTML effects I wanted. And they don't work in you.

Your Gecko-based competitors like my code. When tested in Firefox, I'm adding and removing rows from an HTML table with client side scripting to my heart's content. You, on the other hand, have found that it pleases your cold black heart to deny me my triumph and forbid this to happen. And then you add insult to injury by giving me an 'error message', if the term could be called that:

"Unknown runtime error."

Unknown runtime error. I'm speechless. I am truly flabbergasted. This is, without a doubt, the most unhelpful error message I have ever had the misfortune to read. It tells me nothing, nothing useful about how to hack my beautiful, carefully crafted code to meet your absurd demands.

In short, I hate you, and I hope you die in a horrible, tragic accident at a young age.

Sincerely,
Rootboy

Sleepy Hollow

2004-09-27T20:27:41Z

Saw Sleepy Hollow for the first time the other night. Pretty good movie, fun Tim Burton style. Walken sold it for me.

I desired more Walken, so afterward I watched Weapon of Choice.

Still unsatiated, I completed the trifecta with the classic More Cowbell sketch.

Now that's quality Walken.

I love bees

2004-09-24T20:40:57Z

http://www.ilovebees.com/

I've been following the developments on this site since mid August. Its like this: an apparently innocent web site by a woman who keeps bees has been hijacked by artificially intelligent agents. The site's webmaster was understandably freaked out at first. Now she's in China and acting like she's just curious.

At first, there were strange messages and snips of code scattered throughout the site. Some of the text was actually hidden in image files. Over the course of the summer, things progressed in "Phases". It culminated with the posting of a large table of GPS coordinates and times of day on the site. These turned out to be the locations of pay phones. Answer the phone at the listed time, and you hear a message. When enough people pick up, the message becomes available for download on the site. The wav files can be pieced together to tell a story set sometime in the future, centering on three characters, named Jersey, Jan, and Kamal. Some of them are quite entertaining.

A community has sprung up to investigate matters and to answer the phones. Recently a few of them were able to communicate with the chief agent on the site.

Of course, this is in reality just a big promotion for Halo 2. I never played Halo, but this advertisement for its sequel is keeping me entertained.

rootboy @ 2004-09-22T13:20:00

2004-09-22T20:34:52Z

Nerd with blog.

That's what Sean called me. And he's right. That is what I am, now.

I will be dumping my thoughts in this space for some indefinate time period in the future. If you're interested, cool. If not, also cool. Its more for me than anything else. For a while I've thought it would be a good idea to record some of the stuff that comes out of my brain somewhere. Never did though. Perhaps this will be the start of something.

I didn't make up my username. You can thank her for that. But it's certainly appropriate. I like computers. No, scratch that, I live for the things. The time I'm not sleeping (in bed or in class) I'm probably sitting in front of one, either working (I'm a CS major) or playing. So if my posts get technical, that's because that's because I'm technical.

I also really, really like rock music from around the year 1970. Led Zeppelin was my obsession for about 2 years. Also The Who, The Doors, Rolling Stones, and recently a lot of Beatles. I also dig 90's alternative stuff too, more out of nostalgia, as that is what I listened to in my younger days. The Offspring primarily.

So that's a bit about me. Lets see how this goes.

I have a Journal

2004-09-20T04:03:51Z

I have a Blog. Heaven help us.

More to come.